THESE are the times that try men's souls.

Thomas Paine

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated."

The best sales team ever just had a regional teleconfrence where we recieved the equivilant of a nuclear blast of an announcement. Sales force reduction in twenty days. 20%. 20% of the full sales force but taken from our half of the division. I've been thinking about the funky math and figure 20% of my 50% makes it more like 40% cuts. 4 out of ten. Gone.

So I have 20 days to face THE CALL. I plan to make it different this time. Last time three years ago I had confinced myself they needed to keep me being the last Lipitor guy left. I was wrong. Kicked to the curb. Not placed. Hello! Shocked! I did make it back in and am grateful for it. Sincerely.

For the last twenty-four hours I've been living a deja vu and now I'm finally starting to see that things are different now than they were then. I am different than I was then. I remember my greatest regets as the proccess of seperation began was that I should have gotten my MBA, I should have not been so niave, and I wish I had tried harder to be a better representative than I had been.

Now.

I got my MBA! I am wiser. I am very proud of the representative I've become!

My plan is to have a new job by 2013 and be able to choose to stay or step up.

These are the times that try my soul.

When I'm forced to answer.

What I want to be when I grow up?